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The Bachelor: Season 19 Ep. 4 Recap

It’s Week 4, which introduces an absurd amount of jealousy from every girl that is left. For some reason, this is always this week that brings out the psychotic jealousy trait. It may be the fact that Chris is kissing every girl every second he sees them. Just a guess!

Oh, perfect, ABC: Invite Chris’s sisters into a house full of girls that refuse to wear actual bathing suit bottoms (and has at least one psychotic fake zombie killer). On the bright side, at least Jillian acknowledges her bikinis are not normal.

Unfortunately, since Chris lives on a farm with his family, if the girls don’t win over EVERY sister, they are screwed – quite a lot of pressure. It’s almost as if each girl in the house is interviewing for the most important job in her life: Farm Wife.

GROUP DATE NO. 1: “Let’s do what feels natural”

(Note: This date also could have been known as, “Let’s take off our clothes.”)

Whoa, Kelsey. Sorry that the lakes in LA don’t meet Michigan standards, but Michigan is depressing half of the year and we wish you wouldn’t bring that misery onto this wonderful show. We have never seen someone so upset about a lake. Kelsey, we know the real reason why your fake smile is on 24/7: you’re with a lot of girls competing for the same guy. It’s not the lake, girlfriend. Kelsey, you are officially also on our bottom now.

Ashley I., why do you have SO much makeup on in the middle of the woods? Your random intense make-out session last week is still on our mind, and we are having a hard time taking you seriously, especially when you put lip gloss on in a camping chair (sorry!). Also, just an FYI: it may have been the worst idea you’ve ever had to enter Chris’ tent on a group date to tell him you have never had a boyfriend at age 26, and then to tell him not once, but twice, that you are a virgin. Making out immediately after telling Chris may make him forget about it, but it doesn’t make us viewers forget.

THANK YOU Ashley S. for being ridiculous again this episode! We all were bored last week and missed your scary-wide eyes and your interviews that made no sense and created a large amount of awkward moments. (Also, thanks to the ABC producers for having Kaitlyn interview and comment on Ashley S. during the group date).

“PRINCE FARMING.” That’s genius, Ashley I. We will officially be calling him that from now on. Great nickname…crazy corn eating.

ONE-ON-ONE DATE: JADE

(The Cinderella advertisement was a bit long, but here’s an interesting fact that came out of it: Pistol decided that it was sick, and he wants to see the movie).

Disappointing one-on-one. A little boring.  This date took the Cinderella theme a little too far.

How unfair! Chris clearly practiced his dance steps (thank you for showing that, ABC). How is Jade supposed to know what to do? Regardless, job well done, Jade. She is definitely moving up for us. She’s the frontrunner after that date.

GROUP DATE NO. 2: “Let’s get dirty”

Jillian’s adrenaline is pumping so hard when the limo arrives at the muck fest. She is the happiest girl to get dirty and it’s weird. It’s also weird how good she is at this entire obstacle course. We would have given up, too, like every other girl there.

What a waste of time for the other girls on this date. There was no way Jillian wasn’t going to win. Basically, the other girls wore cheap wedding dresses while running in mud and watching Jillian beat them by a long shot.

To sum up this date: it was a waste of time for everyone involved, and Jillian is delusional. BORING.

COCKTAIL HOUR AND ROSE CEREMONY

WHY is Ashley I. doing this virgin conversation again? We get it; you’re a virgin. But you make out every second you get and you like to talk about sex. This conversation can never happen again. She is by far the most annoying girl in the house.

Wow, Britt really put Chris on the hot seat. He clearly had NO idea what to say and was just speaking gibberish hoping she would give up on the subject.

Interesting choices tonight, Chris Soules. We both are pretty sure we have never seen Samantha before. Where did she come from?

Mackenzie?!?! He didn’t even take her on a date!

Ashley I.? Clearly Chris wants to hear one more time that she is a virgin.

We are SO happy Ashley S. is gone, although it was fun while it lasted.

Overall, this episode disappointed us. Very little drama, the one-on-one dates were boring, and Ashley S. was barely shown! Hopefully next week is a little more entertaining. Here are our picks:

Mr. Pistol’s Top 3:
Kaitlyn
Britt
Mackenzie

Mrs. Pistol’s Top 3:
Whitney
Jade
Kaitlyn

Let us know what you think of Chris’s choices and what you guys thought about the episode and our recap on Twitter at @PistolPat20 and @MrsPistol12. Leave us your final three predictions, and if you are right, you’ll have a chance to win a Pat Cannone Prize Pack!